full beam ahead

car headlight

Having not considered he’d ever noticed them, you can imagine my surprise when my brother-in-law suggested he pop round to polish my headlights.

Say what ?

Well, says he, I noticed the other other day your car headlights looked kind of cloudy.

Now, I admit the lacklustre puddles of light that lately seemed to stop short a foot in front of the car had me perplexed. I’d been inclined to blame my failing eyeballs.

But, the old b-i-l knew better and had now apparently bought some special “headlight polish” to fix the problem.

I might have been skeptical, but there was that time my car simply stopped dead on the wrong side of Goondiwindi (Gundi as the locals know it) and the NSW-Qld border.

There were no mobiles then, or at least none that would easily fit in the boot of a beige Cortina.

So with the aid of a cleft stick and a passing motorist someone from the nearest garage was prevailed upon to attend.

After a cursory look at the engine he’d drawled: “It will be the harmonic balancer love, you’ll have to stay the night in Gundi.”

Honestly, I thought he was having a lend of me.

Really? It’s not the one of the chakras of my radiator aura, I’d sniped.

Lucky he didn’t leave me there.

So, I was more than willing to believe in headlight polish.

And, it turned out to be very illuminating.

What’s it called, this special headlight stuff, I wondered, once more able to dazzle more than the smallest rodent.

Toothpaste, says he with a grin, the enwhitening kind.


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